What goes BUMP in the night!

What keeps you up at night? Do you have something that your brain goes to like clockwork when your head hits the pillow, something your mind will not let go of when the lights turn off at night? I certainly do. Money is the thing that robs me of good quality sleep on a regular basis. I am always figuring in my head how much I have coming in, how much will be heading right back out for bills, and does that figure leave room for luxuries like gas in the car or a loaf of bread!

Money anxiety is not something new for me. I knew full well we were in for some lean times when I decided to take the job in Arizona. When money is already the number one stressor in your life and you make a choice to take a job in another state, which means, your spouse will have no job and you will be down to one income, it can be seen as a bit crazy. Add to this that we are in a time and economy when people would sell out their favorite relative to the mob just for the opportunity to say, "Would you like fries with that?" Things are not great in the financial world and I decided what the hell . . . things are not quite stressful enough . . . let's try this with one income! Are you still trying to decide if this is a mid-life crisis? I sure the hell am.

This morning I woke up, not rested and not able to get back to sleep and I noticed I was thinking of the same thing (money) when I woke up that I was when I went to sleep. This made me really wonder if I actually slept at all. Maybe I just lay in a comatose state all night rolling thoughts of money or lack of money around in my head. This could certainly explain all the headaches and mid-day yawning I am prone to. I look back fondly at the days when I could spend $5 without a second thought. Now, I analyze every quarter to determine if that will be the twenty-five cents that means the difference between getting by and going under. I know the situation is temporary, which helps, but I also know that where I am today is the accumulation of a lot of really bad choices on my part starting from when I was 18 and thought I needed a Bon Marche card with a $100 limit.

As little kids, we worry about what goes bump in the night . . . monsters, vampires, zombies, giant bugs. Little did I realize as a child that when I became an adult what goes bump in the night is actually me, night after night, kicking myself in the ass for all the monetary stupidity I was a part of over the years. When you add up all the bad choices, they equal an empty savings account, no emergency fund and a pile of spending regret. Here is to a future with more dreaming of giant vampire zombie bug monsters and less of dead presidents!!