Who knew there would be mid-terms?

I keep thinking that I need to have something really profound or funny to say in order to post a blog on any given day. Unfortunately with this rule the blogging will be going downhill quickly so I have had to change my theory on what is “worthy” of being part of the blog. When I last left you, I was having some issues with faith . . . I can’t say that my faith has been repaired and that everything is right in my world. It isn’t. My life right now is a bit off center, off kilter, and off in the distance. I say this because the way I choose to cope with the things I don’t want to deal with is to push them away. Not too far . . . I don’t want “it” completely out of site, I just want “it” over there. We all have our way of coping and for me a smile and laugh can push something just far enough away to dull the pain. The more distance the more comfortable I can fake the situation into being, but I don’t ever want to be delusional about the reality of any situation I find myself in. So, “it”, which I guess is reality, can sit at the front of my crazy bus and I will sit in the back seat. We will ride around together and I will watch “it” quietly, just in case “it” randomly or suddenly makes a move or changes again.

I started thinking about coping and how dysfunctional we can make the entire coping process when I heard today about a situation a very dear friend of mine is in. Since this is a blog about me and not someone else, I won’t detail their situation but I will tell you it made me look at myself to see if my way of coping is causing dysfunction to the level I am seeing in this other person’s situation. You know, clarity at a distance. I was wondering if I am just not realizing that I am causing more problems by avoiding the screaming, the crying, the shaking my fists at the world and all the general bitching about what currently ails me. By not expressing my displeasure, confusion, anger, and pain about “it” am I causing myself to become more crazy?

I want to now know why smack in the middle of my mid-life crisis I am having a mini-crisis. Now I don’t know about you but nowhere did I ever read about or hear some TV talk show host talking about how to deal with a special edition crisis that shows up when you are already in mid-life and fully in your scheduled crisis. Here I am, already in my full-blown crisis of what to do with my life, just starting to settle into the new choices I have made and WHAM! Mini-crisis upside the head!! I think I must have been very naughty in my past lives . . .

I am beginning to think that mid-life is where we take our mid-terms for life. The subjects seem to be: Faith, Patience, Love, Gratitude, Acceptance, Understanding, and Forgiveness. These are subjects I am not sure I prepared properly for . . . and today I am not sure which, if any I actually have the ability to pass.

For any of you reading and wondering about this mid-life crazy crisis situation because you feel “it” coming on for your own life . . . watch out for the mini-crisis, it’s a doozey and maybe brush up on your soft skills . . . you’re going to need it!